unplugging our youth

my son, a wily, precocious almost-8-year-old doesn't own a video game system; he doesn't know what online gaming is; bottom line, he really could care less. recently, jakob started playing with my friend's son. my thought was, "awesome! jakob will have someone to get get muddy with in the back yard." oh, how wrong i was. this kid eats, sleeps and breathes video games and online videos. in fact, he can hardly have a conversation without having to run back and kill something. my son, on the other hand, was mortified. he was nearly begging to play, and the best this kid could offer him was a bird's eye view to HIS gaming. frustrated, jakob said, "i want to PLAY with you, not watch you play videos." ouch.

one, i realized my son is fucking awesome. he's actualized, he's intelligent, he's engaged. i also had a sad reality check about video game addiction and how pervasive it really is. saddened for the kid, i expressed concern to his dad. i was basically placated and laughed at. nothing pisses me off more than being invalidated when trying to deal with a serious issue. honestly, i felt like punching him in the face. i behaved.

parenting is a hard job. it's not easy to be "on" all the time, to be responsible when you're tired, or when you have something you'd like to do instead. i get it. for half of jakob's life, i was on my own. sometimes, it sucks. sometimes, you have to sacrifice what you want for what you need. hell, on occasion, people might think you're harsh for not subscribing to media persuasion (personally, i call it active parenting, but hey, what the hell, right?!). is it worth it? hell yes. it became more than evident how worth it is today, when my son stuck to his guns (no pun intended) and stood up for what he believed in. unplugging my boy was one of the better choices i've made. yes, he can still watch a bit of the telly, but an hour a week is better than 3 hours a day. in fact, taking tv away is hardly punishment. he doesn't even know the difference.

bad perms, mini vans, and tattoos

life with a 7-year-old is full of lots of lessons, sure, but i don't think i ever really realized that walking through the school process with him would be tantamount to my own school years. the difference now is, i get to do it as a parent. not so ironically, however, i find myself faced with the same sense of separatism and an odd sort of isolation from what's considered the "norm" in motherhood.

today, for example, i donned a short-sleeved shirt, and not just any short-sleeved shirt--one that actually is cut low in the back. cute? sure. revealing? only in the sense that a large amount of artwork is visible. i suddenly found myself in an inadvertent social experiment and subjected to a bevy of uncomfortable glances, trepidatious hellos, and i suddenly had flashbacks to being that "weird" kid in grade school. curious, when even the teachers won't look you in the eye and then stare as you walk away. thing is, it is only obvious because i typically am NOT exposed. and why is that anyway? i mean, is it necessary to cover who you are in order NOT to make people feel uncomfortable? and honestly, why the hell does this make them uncomfortable in the first place?

truth is, i don't drive a mini-van, my son is not playing soccer (that was a one-shot deal that went horribly wrong), my hair is wild, albeit black as night, and i'm an artist. sure, i'm "different" from the mass array of what's considered the social norm; and by george, i will never be caught dead wearing a fanny pack, but that doesn't mean folks have to give me a wide berth when i walk by. i don't bite. at least not during the week.