15 years and counting

holy wow, today marks 15 years of sobriety. in 1993, when i made a choice to stop drinking, i never, not in a million years, thought i would be here...celebrating 15 years. the years have not always treated me kindly, nor i them, but i managed to keep moving forward, no matter what. sometimes it was simple stubbornness; at other times it was my faith in something larger than me; and for a some, it was dumb luck. see, at some point, i realized that drinking, etc., really wasn't a choice for me anymore. frankly, i'd rather be happy, sad, elated, lonely, angry, tired, et al, and still retain my wacky sense and sensibility.

along the way, i've loved, lost, created, lost again, loved again, been hurt both physically and emotionally, acquired more scars, reinvented myself, suffered miserably, and celebrated endlessly. what i've survived sober would have killed me using, because without the love i have now encircling me, i would have been lost in the woods. at this point, my most basic goal is to keep moving forward, because to move backwards is fruitless.

so...thank you to those who have been there through it all, and thank you to those just now joining the circus. i love you with all my heart.